Side 2
"An Evening In Terezin"
The sun goes down
and everything is silent,
only at the guard's post
are heavy footfalls heard
That's the guard who watches his Jews
to make sure they don't run away from the ghetto.
Or that an Aryan aunt or uncle
doesn't try to get in.
Ten o'clock strikes suddenly,
and the windows of Dresden's barracks darken.
The women have a lot to talk about;
they remember their homes,
and dinners they made.
Then some of them argue.
Others try to quiet them down.
Finally, one by one, they grow silent;
they toss and turn, and in the end,
they fall asleep.
How many more evenings
will we have to live like this?
We do it know,
only God knows.
I commented on: Lorin, Vince, Tammi, Alexis, Eamonn
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ReplyDeleteHello Clement, here are some things that I like about your poem, and maybe some things that you could fix.
ReplyDeleteLikes-
On your second slide, you include a red barbed wire and black rough outline of your butterfly. I see how you tried to cage in all the words of hopes and dreams, inside with the Nazis. This represents how the people in the concentration camps still had hope, and they still had their dreams of a better life, and maybe one day they could get out. I thought it was a great idea to include a rough outline, which you said was to show the rough life of the Jews in the concentration camps, I believe this symbolism was great. But, you didn't put any tags explaining why you put the words "Hope" and "Dreams", maybe you could add one.
The fact that the positivity in your butterfly is literally "flipped around", is a great symbolization. The Jews lived lives full of positivity and happiness, which you showed with the use of your color blue and positive words surrounding the Star of David, used to represent the Jews. Their lives were "turned upside down" when the Nazi's came and trapped them. I think having the two2 different sides showed how they did have their "lives turned upside down".
There was a recurring theme within your butterfly, with the use of the words Hopes and Dreams on both sides. I believe this conveyed a message that the Jews wouldn't give up their hope, and kept their dreams even while in the concentration camp, and nothing that the Nazis would do could take that away.
Dislikes, or Possible Fixes-
I noticed, that on many of your tags you had little to no explanation. This made me have to infer to what your butterfly was talking about. The paragraphs also were not in TIQA format, and sometimes there wasn't proper punctuation.
The picture you included did not fit in wit the butterfly. Sure you showed the entrance to Terezin, but I would've liked to know why you included it. The picture is supposed to add to the presentation.
The green tags that you have above your butterflies on both pictures, had quotes from your poem (which you forgot to include). There was no explanation as to why you included these quotes into the thinglink, and I saw nothing on your butterfly project that represented the quotes. Maybe if you would show how the quote relates to your project, it would work better.
Thanks for reading my comment, I'd consider making the tags for the butterfly better. But all in all, I think your butterfly was a good one, have a nice day.
I think you did a nice job on your butterfly. I found it interesting how you had two different sides, such as different colors. You organized your tags out pretty good also, it looks neat. One thing I recommend though is for some of the words you written on there, you didn't add a tag for. For example, the word safety you didn't add a tag, which I think you should've so people know why you put that. Another recommendation was you should have made your tags in TIQA format. One thing I like is how you gave facts about terezin so people know about it and have a good understanding. Overall, you did a great job on your butterfly!
ReplyDeleteYour butterfly is interesting, and you did a good job. I like the way the two sides of the butterfly are made, but I think it should have more to do with the poem. I understand how the poem influenced the butterfly, but it would be good if there was more from the actual poem. But I thought the decoration was great and really helped with the overall message and butterfly.
ReplyDeleteGreat butterfly Clement there are some flaws that I would like to point out. You could've added more details on your explanations and some quotes on your tags as well. I like the colors that you chose to make your butterfly. I really like how you added a back side too it really shows how the poem goes it starts off all nice and good, but on the back side it shows all dark and death. Those are all of the things that I would add, but great butterfly it really looks good nice job.
ReplyDeleteYour butterfly is well done, you have one side to show what seems to be a good side, and the other to be a more negative and darker side. You used colors to show good and bad, for example the good side had blue and yellow while the other had black, red, and yellow. You explained the pictures and what was it which obviously took lots of time and work. A few things that you could change is maybe a little more explanation for the tags. It seems that the information was there, it just wasn't explained enough. There was also no proper punctuation, I'm sure if you change those errors others might understand your butterfly more.
ReplyDeleteGood butterfly, Clement. There are some things that could be fixed, but overall it is nice. Your tags have little to no explanation and it looks like it wasn't thought through 100%. I like how flipping it over displays the contrasting feelings, the feelings inside the camp. The change of colors made it lively. Blue is more often than not a calm color, and red is an aggresive color and it signals anger (or potentially fear). Overall, nice job.
ReplyDelete